I won’t drink a beer unless it’s pink, wearing a dress and tastes like a Cosmo

STOP

DOING

THIS

I don’t want some bloody pilsner in champagne bottle that looks like a bottle of bubble bath that you got from your great aunt for Christmas. I don’t want “a representation of a woman’s strength and a girl’s tenderness”, I want a pint. A girl shouldn’t be fucking drinking beer anyway, give her a J20 and introduce her to a nice porter on her 18th birthday.

Aurosa is “the first beer for her”, I don’t know who “her” is and it’s definitely not the first brand to try this nonsense. Founder of the brand, Martina Smirova  says “I created Aurosa #FORHER as a reminder that women shouldn’t forget that they can succeed in all aspects of life without having to adapt or sacrifice their natural tenderness and femininity”. She probably said other things do but that made me wretch and I struggled to focus on the rest of the press release. I’m pretty certain I lost my “natural tenderness” when the bones in my skull finally fused today and there’s fuck all natural about the concept of femininity (I’m not here for an arguement about nature vs nuture, just don’t).

“The two contrasting tempers, present in the female essence, are depicted through the elegant design yet the strong, unfiltered taste… Aurosa was born to prove that women can succeed anywhere without having to adapt and sacrifice their natural femininity. Women have been disregarded in the beer industry but owing to determination and faith in herself, Aurosa is set to redefine the perception of beer.”

The low ABV tastes like strength and the hops taste of something pulled straight from my tenderness. Aurosa isn’t a woman, it wasn’t born, it was brewed. It’s a shitty gender stereotype dressed up as a bottle of bubble bath crappy PR campaign and named like an off brand lubricant.

Women HAVE been disregarded in the beer industry, but the beer isn’t the problem. The sexist branding, men’s club attitudes and patronising crap like this is the problem. Want to help women in the beer industry? Employ them, buy their products, sell them beer that isn’t slathered in macho marketing, tell the old creeps in pubs to stop being creeps or at least stop being in the pub. Don’t paint a champagne bottle with glitter glue and call it feminism.

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